Monday marks the 12 year anniversary of my mother's death. I think it is especially prominent this year for me because a very good friend of mine is going through something similar. It brings about all the memories of what I went through, watching my mother go through her trials and troubles. While those memories are bubbling up, it's good to know that I can use them to help her through her own troubles - and make that experience useful.

The pain of loss doesn't go away, but eventually it does get easier. Just on Monday, I closed my eyes for a moment, and I could picture my mother very clearly. It was a comforting thing, feeling like she was close by.

I miss her dearly. She was my best friend. I cherish every memory I have of her.

This weekend, and Monday, I will likely be hiding out. A fair few know how to get in touch with me if I'm needed.

One in particular, he knows who he is, can contact me anytime.

I left the book I was reading home. This was my staple side activity for work, since at work I very barely have much to do at all. Usually, I twiddle thumbs.

So, I am presently bored silly, while in a deep, engrossing funk.

This sucks.

I need some sort of distraction.

I am emotionally all over the place today, which is not a good thing to be while at work.

Despite a good, happy start to this week, that good start is rapidly declining into something yucky and foul. Mood has shifted significantly, and this morning I have woken up a cranky grumpypants.

Woe betide the next person I meet - or so one of the emits goes on Firan.

No, it is not Firan. It is life in general.

And, it did not help that last night I had a dream about my wonderful, lovable, huggable furbaby. I was going on vacation with the cruise group, Steph, Adam, SSB, David and Mike. We chose a resort somewhere in Florida to go to, but for some reason I decided to bring Goldie - my purrbaby. There were problems because the resort did not allow kitties, I don't think, and that's when I woke up.

It was good to see my purrbaby, hold him and hear his purr, even if in a dream. I miss him dearly.

But, now... I'm all upset, missing him terribly. And given my mood this week was already on a rapid decline, this has not helped it one bit.

Meh.

Lisa, who wants to go crawl back under the covers and hide from the world forever

Last night I got my CD/DVD finally for the Wii Fit - so now I can use the balance board and the game and get to working on things.

Last night, I did 30 minutes of Wii Fit. I did all of the balance games, most of the yoga poses, some of the aerobics, and some of the strength training.

All I can say is...

OW!

They really get you in places that you don't expect, and they are really focused on balance and proper posture - all of the games are. So, it is an interesting take on things.

My goal? To try and at least do 30 minutes each day - I think that is an obtainable goal.

Unlike with the walking machine, which is out of commission until Scott decides to stop painting in the garage/exercise room. it seems that evening is the best time for me to get Wii Fit in. Walking doesn't require the kind of coordination that the Wii Fit games require, and I'm not generally coordinated at all, ever, first thing in the morning.

Sigh. Now only if the walking machine were up and running - and then I could do other calorie burning things and exercise twice a day.

I know, I know, I need to post them. I don't have that many, but the ones I do, that I feel are fit for public consumption, will be posted. I am really, really very bad at taking pictures. They'll be posted on my flickr account and in Facebook.

Things have been quiet since vacation, and I’ve been settling in very nicely. This is good. I need quiet, after how much the beginning of the year has mostly sucked, save for the part where pautucker and I managed to get together. That has been, and continues to be, the best part of my year. I still view it with a kind of childish, unbelievable wonder and awe, which makes me appreciate that we’re together all the more. Bluntly, he makes me really very happy.

It was nice to have a four day week, coming out of vacation and going right into a long weekend. I needed a semi-vacation from my vacation to get back into things. Going to Disney turns out to be just what I needed. My reset button from the odd illnesses, the death of the housemate’s father in our home, losing my job, the possibility of losing our home, has been pushed, and things seem better, and much brighter now than they have been.

Now, there’s still a very good possibility that I’ll be losing my home, but right now that’s the farthest thing from my mind. Rather, I am trying to keep focused on that positive energy and let it keep me going, for however long that ride will last. I’ve been looking at Cuendillar more closely, and been getting my feet wet back on Firan again, after almost a constant three month hiatus from really roleplaying much there. These are both good things.

Largely, however, I’m going to try and focus and channel that energy to continue writing my book. Even if I don’t get it published, it’s something I need to do for myself, to say that I actually did it and got it done. That, and because if I don’t, I think the characters in the story might drive me absolutely batty and bonkers, railing against the doors to be heard. But, if you are an author of fiction, you know how that goes. It’ll be interesting to see what kind of wild ride they take me on, as they are penned on paper. If I haven’t mentioned before, in the 10,000 or so words that I have written, they are already deviating from my plot outline somewhat – which is fine, for now, but I may need to draw them back a bit.

I’ve also offered to help ladytiewaz with her writing, having offered to review it for her, and give her an honest critique. This occurred after we started discussing the various aspects of writing, and how mu characters were badgering me to be heard, and how she wishes she could get back to her stories. We had a nice discussion about how one needs to give themselves permission to just write, about anything, even if it isn’t very good, so it gets down on paper, and she expressed disappointment in past reviews; and given that I’ve been doing nothing but reviewing and critiquing papers all year long for my housemate, Nancy, I offered to aid her in this task. I think it will be a good exercise for the both of us, and who knows… I may even utilize her for the same services once I am in a position to have my own book read, outside of having stephdray looking over the first few pages initially.

Anyway, the point is, right now I’m in a very happy place, mentally and emotionally, and I’m going to ride that for as long as I can – and plot for more happy, fun stuff in the future. At least, I hope it’ll be happy fun stuff!

What follows is the saga of events that occurred while I was away on vacation at Disney World. For those of you new to the whole series of vacation posts I’ve done, I decided back in January to plan a Disney vacation, and I paid part of the way for my sister, Susan, and her husband, David, so they could come with me. I did tickets, ground transportation and accommodations, while they did flight and food for themselves (and sometimes me). So, here we have it.

It is hidden behind a cut to protect the innocent - and because it is about 6 pages long!

( Read about my vacation here )

Thus, concludes my Disney trip. It was a very needed, very nice, very relaxing trip, and I am all the more glad that I went.

Now, to plan for my next trip!

Sitting in the lobby now, taking advantage of their free internets. Will be boarding the plane in about an hour, probably less time, if our BWI experience was any inkling of what our Florida/MCO experience will be.

Vacation was great. Exhausting. Relaxing. Fun. All the things I really needed. Will write more about it later though!!

I think it's pretty safe to say that I walked for several hours all over all the Disney Parks every day. No times, speeds, heart rates to record.

In 22 hours, give or take a few minutes from now, I'll be on a plane to Orlando, FL. Sunny Orlando, FL - which is purported to have fantastic weather next week.

I'll be taking my sister Susan and her husband David to Walt Disney World. I've paid for most of their way, making it possible for them to go. This is their first vacation in over 22 years. I'm a combination of excited and nervous.

I'm excited because Susan hasn't seen most of the parks. The first time she went to Disney World was when I was 8 - and she came with us then. The only other time she's been to Disney World was when her daughter was in a band competition that was hosted at Disney. Both of the times she's gone she's only seen Magic Kingdom - that means she still needs to be introduced to Epcot Center, MGM Studious (now being called Disney Hollywood), Animal Kingdom, Blizzard Beach, Typhoon Lagoon and Downtown Disney. David has never been to Disney World in his life - and he plans on being a kid the entire time, which is fine by me, so long as he enjoys the experience.

The nervousness has more to do with the fact that I'll be spending an entire week with them when I barely see them less than a handful of times a year. I'm sure everything will be fine though. I'm also somewhat nervous because I'm very certain I'm not prepared for all the walking that will be required between the four parks, the two water parks and Downtown Disney. I did some preliminary walking, but I'm almost certain that wasn't enough. I'll make the best of it for myself though.

However, DISNEY!

I am looking forward to the time of exorcising the demons of Disney 2003 and the bad memories that were created there.

I'm not even going to complain that Disney is not the boat. Hee.

Oh, and I took a break from walking today, which is why you see no post about exercising. I wanted to make sure not to expend all of my energy before I have to take a flight and other sundry stuff I'll be doing tomorrow.

(Note: For those of you who wanted to come, but could not make it, you'll be missed, and those of you in Florida that want to meet up are welcome to do so - please comment here with contact information - comments are being screened. I will be there from June 21st - June 28th)

Speed: 1.7 with slightly larger incline
Time: 15:05
Distance: 0.42 miles
Calories and Fat: 66.3 and 20.7
Heart Rate: 95

Lower back much more ow today than right leg.

Speed: 1.7 with slight incline
Time: 15:00 minutes
Distance: 0.42 miles
Calories and Fat: 66.1 and 20.6
Heartrate: 109

The lower right side of my right leg absolutely hates me, and my lower back is not too keen on me either. With time, that'll likely go away as those areas get used to exercise. But, OWOWOWOWOWOW.

Speed: 1.7 at slight incline
Mileage: 0.44
Time: 15:15 minutes
Calories and Fat: 66.9 and 20.9
Heart Rate: 104

Speed: 1.6
Mileage: 0.40
Time: 15 minutes
Other stuff: 62.9 and 19.7 - don't know which is fat or calories
Heart Rate: 100

Today I did this:

0.42 miles at speed 1.7 for 15 minutes (vs 1.6 at 20 minutes yesterday and 0.50 miles)

Fat and Calories burned (disclaimer, the machine garbles which is which, I'm sure someone more savvy about this can inform me which is which) 20.44 and 66.40.

Heart Rate: 111 at speed 1.7 for 15 minutes (vs 122 yesterday at 1.6 for 20 minutes)

Go me.

So, I determined this week that I was going to start walking in earnest. Oh, yeah, sure, I always say that, but I devised a plan that so far seems to be working well. Seems is the key word here.

Nancy and Scott have a treadmill. Usually it collects dust. I stated using it before the cruise last year, though I never kept up with it. Walking was just plain boring. Even walking with TV streaming into my lap top was plain boring. Walking is still boring.

So, I decided to do this…. to walk first thing in the morning. To make it the thing that I do first off, before anything else – or try at least to do it before anything else. Since starting my new job, I’ve been getting up at an ungodly 6:00 am anyway, so I figured to put that extra time to good use.

It’s been 3 days so far, and despite the fact that I groaned at myself and didn’t want to go, I did it. Wednesday and Thursday I walked for 15 minutes. This morning I extended that time by another 5 minutes. My goal is to gradually keep extending that time, or raising the speed at which I walk. I am told that the machine also allows for jogging, but I am no where near that level yet. Baby steps.

I am proud of myself so far. Let’s see if I can do this for another 27 days and make it a habit, as it takes about 30 days to form a routine you’re likely to stick to.

Now, only if I could get a Wii Fit – then I’d have some evening exercises too.

Curse the Wii Fit online sales being SOLD OUT!

*shakeyfists*

Oh, and their treadmill takes vitals and tells you burn rates and stuff. Maybe I'll start posting those everyday.

Woot! Score!

Apparently we are going during the time of Star Wars Weeeknds:

Disney's Hollywood Studios™
Star Wars™ Weekends
June 06, 2008 - June 29, 2008

Meh.

The End.

It appears that I just need to ask the characters to give me their names. Or, at least, that’s the way it seems. After I posted asking, they appeared.

To give a sneak peak, the names thus far are:

Previously Named Characters:

Herione – Kristen
Some of the Pirates – Silas and Thom
Princes – Wesley and Stefan
Maids – Flo, Melisende and Nerina

Newly Named Characters:

King – Jeffry
Queen – Constance
Judge – Richard

Before, king, queen and judge were referred to as the King, the Queen or the Judge.

During the slow periods at work, I’ve been writing on my book again. The book has taken on a new life. It’s expanded. I’m now up to a total of 10,009 words. This might seem small potatoes to everyone who’s written a book before, but given my track record with writing, and starting projects only to abandon them completely, this is quite an accomplishment for me. In the terms of NaNoWriMo, I only have 39,991 left to go before it’s a real book! *ahem*

The story has decided to deviate slightly from the original concept. I have an actual outline for it, which has helped me keep on track for the most part. It’s the first book/idea that I’ve ever outlined from start to finish, more or less. I have a general idea of how I wanted it to begin, what I want to happen in the middle, and how I want it to end. When I first came up with the idea, several years ago, I was very happy with it. It was a proud accomplishment for me. Every time I add something new to the book, new ideas, new settings, new characters, those are additional accomplishments for me.

I have no designs to get it published really. Right now, I think the book is utter crap. But, the story wants to be told, so there’s little I can do about it being crap. I figure I’ll get everything down on paper, and then revisit whether or not I want to go through the process of editing it and improving on it. Or, I might just get it published for myself in book format from one of those book binding people. It’d be worth it to me, to immortalize my work. If I do that, I’ll get my sister, Sandy, to do the cover art. She’s talented as an artist, but does very little with her artwork.

So far, I’m enjoying the process of writing. I just wish the characters I’m defining in the book would tell me their names. A few have. Most have not. The main character will likely go through another identity crisis, but for now she’s sticking to Kristen as her name. The original ship will change names as well, now that I have a better idea of how ships have been named in the past.

Researching piracy, reading the stories of Anne Bonny and Mary Read, and reading about maritime stuff in general as research has been pretty enlightening. I’ve already lightly used some of that research in my book, thanks to the book that I received for my birthday from paultucker. So far it has been an invaluable source. It is ‘Seafaring Women’ by David Cordingly. I already had his matching book, ‘Under the Black Flag’, which talks more about piracy in general – though I’d scarcely gotten through it. I am half way through ‘Seafaring Women’.