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General Ramblings...

I look at the calendar on my journal and I notice with some sadness that I’m not much with the frequent posting or updating. It’s not that I don’t have things to say. I do. I’m just not much with the saying them right now. There’s a post I’ve been meaning to make for a few months now, but it’s a more personally involved post. When I first thought about making it, I was all gung ho about it. Course, I was driving home in the car when I thought about it, so like with all things, when I got home, it was completely forgotten. I may still make it, but now I’m sitting in Chicken Little’s camp, over analyzing things like I have a great tendency to do. Alright, obsessive tendency. You got me there.

Easter is coming up. Looking forward to that. Will be spending time with my father. Hopefully I can make a trip before Easter (possibly next weekend) to see him before Easter. I expect that it’ll just be Dad, my sister Loretta and I for Easter. It’s the holiday that most people skip out of. It sucks. Holidays used to be this big thing for us, and they’re just not anymore. I know part of the reason why. Everyone was just as affected as I was with my mother’s passing. It doesn’t get any easier to go home, see her things where she last put them 10 years ago, and no one willing to go through her things to get closure, including me. The house literally has not been rearranged since she was alive. Bleh. Though, I try not to think about that too much when I got there. I focus on other things: seeing my dad, visiting with the kitty, seeing the horsies, etc. Not necessarily in that order.

I am thinking of visiting with my sister Susan, also. I had much fun with going to her house to play pool at Christmas. They have a pool table right in the middle of their living room. She has crazy friends, but not so crazy as some of mine  She doesn’t believe I drink, so maybe I’ll plan it so I’ll go over there, kick back and stay the night. She tried to entice me to drink daqueries (sp?) when I was there last, strawberry, but er… driving and all that. In general, if I’m drinking anything anywhere, I’d like to know that I won’t be on the road until the next day – unless it’s just one very mild drink.

Spring is coming. Well, really it’s here, but you wouldn’t know it. It’s my most favorite season. Everything is blossoming and new, and in general I find the rebirth and regrowth of flowers and such, even if I have a black thumb and kill everything myself, refreshing. I’ve been meaning to make time to go walking around the neighborhood that I’m in now, since 1) I have people who will notice if I go missing where as I didn’t at the apartment in Glen Burnie, and 2) I want to see the new growth and all that’s started to come out. Besides, it’d be nice to just get out and do something outside for a change.

I stopped going outside a long, long time ago and doing things. I’m not really sure when that started happening. I used to absolutely love the outdoors, but then I just stopped doing things there. I want to go and do things, like hiking and camping. These things, I think, take other people though, because I don’t want to go alone. The adventurous carefree little girl that I once was sorta died a long time ago, and now there’s all these things I want to do, but because I’m alone I can’t really do them. Or, I could, but then I’d just be afraid and not go. It’s a catch 22 situation. I’m finding more and more that I hate the person I’ve become, and I have no idea how to get back to how I was. I’m not even sure if I can.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
aninkling
Mar. 25th, 2006 08:24 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'm always up to doing things...so if you ever get the urge just ping me and I'll be there. I'm very disappointed so far in my lack of MD state park familiarity.
(Anonymous)
Mar. 26th, 2006 07:00 pm (UTC)
When the weather gets nicer I am sure you will go out. I knwo that with it snowing here I dont go out much, as I dont ski
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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