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Darrick...

Living in nearly the same area, I knew it was inevitable that I might run into him somewhere, but I was hoping that we wouldn't at all be frequenting the same places. I shop at certain places, away from Glen Burnie, because I knew he hated them. I've managed for nearly three years to completely avoid running into him, until last night...

Last night at Arundel Mills, while waiting with Melissa and Claire for the rest of our Pirates group to arrive, I happened to notice Darrick and Jennifer walking past us. I grimaced. Caught him looking at me. He grimaced back. Neither one of us said anything to the other. I don't think Jennifer noticed, or if she did I didn't notice her notice. He just rushed her along and went in to enjoy his movie.

You'd think after three years, I'd be over him, but there was this part of me that stung still when I saw him. My good, happy night (becuase it started out that way) was somewhat ruined. My mood soured and I was rather close to tears, but they didn't happen. Really, honestly, I never wanted to see him again. I still NEVER want to see him again, especially now, knowing the kind of reaction I'll have when I do see him.

I just want to forget, entirely, that part of my life. I wish it were that simple. The pain of what he did to me will likely never go away, and I doubt it'll ever get any easier.

At least I /have/ come to realize that everything that happened wasn't entirely my fault. I may feel that way, and might always feel that way, but Darrick played a large part in it, larger than I think even he suspects.

I just have to figure out how to fix the damage he caused, or at least get past it. Once I figure that out, I think I'll be fine. I just wish I knew where to begin.

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Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
fiddle_dragon
Jul. 10th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
ugh...I so know that feeling....similar thing happened to me last night...:P
stephdray
Jul. 10th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
People grow apart
Break ups happen. That's natural.

What's not natural is the way that he was a cheating, lying, using scumbag. And you had nothing to do with that.
liakela
Jul. 10th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
Though forgetting would be nice..it wouldn't help, is my personal belief.

We're put into difficult, challenging and uncomfortable places so that we can learn and grow. Each tragedy and bump and bruise and heartbreak is a lesson.

Work on forgiveness, with the idea that forgiveness isn't for the person who committed the wrong against you, it's for you to be able to close that chapter of your life, dust off, and move on.

And never forget that the best revenge in that situation is to live well and to be happy. You seem to be working on that.. keep at it!
bludiscus
Jul. 10th, 2006 01:36 pm (UTC)
Actually, I think you've begun. Realizing that everything that happened wasn't entirely your fault is HUGE.

And dear? Darrick's an ass. There's no need for him to have acted the way he did. As stephdray said, he IS a "cheating, lying, using scumbag."

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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