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Finding a Routine...

Currently my life consists of waking up, going to work, coming home, playing on the computer until I drop into bed. I pretty much ignore everything else, including, quite often, eating. Yeah, yeah, I know. This is bad. I sit down and the next time I look at the time, it went from 4:30 to suddenly 9:00 pm, which is not a food inducing time. There are many a days where I eat only one meal because I forget to eat. I’m trying to be better about this.

The other part of the problem is I feel like I am intruding in Nancy’s home. I know I’m not. She invited me to stay with her several times, and eventually I caved because it was the only option I really had left to me, but I can’t shake the feeling. So, I’m predisposed to staying upstairs and out of the way. I’m pretty sure a large part of this was because of how things worked out in the other house. I need to find a way to convince myself that, no, people are not going to yell at me for wandering around. Though, admittedly, another part of this is because I know she’s having some difficulties with her husband, and I just don’t want to get stuck in between all of that. The room is a safe haven because they don’t intrude there. But, it also leads to me feeling more than slightly claustrophobic at times. The other problem I’m desperately trying to figure out is how I can get some good kitchen time. I want to cook things that I like to eat. While I don’t mind sharing, I don’t want them to feel as though they have to eat what I’ve cooked, and there are issues of space in the fridge and the freezer for things that I have cooked.

So, I have come to the conclusion that I need to find a better way to manage my time and come up with a routine that works for me. I think I’ll be happier for it once I do. Steph would suggest using FlyLady, but I’m not sure that’s going to work for me. I need something more structured and focused than doing things 15 minutes at a time. I need to be harder on myself about actually do what needs to be done, rather than not. Lack of motivation cannot be an excuse. I find that I have a lack of motivation for pretty much everything. I need to overcome the “I don’t wants” and the “I can’ts”, because really I can, whether or not I want to. I just usually don’t, even if I can.

So, tonight, I’m going to make an attempt at creating a routine. I can’t guarantee this routine will work, but it will include minor tasks that I need to accomplish every day, and maybe some sort of reward system for accomplishing those tasks.

I know one thing for certain…. if I mean to stick myself with the boring monotonous stuff that needs to get done, music shall have to be involved in some fashion. I’m more productive in my work with music playing. If anything, this is one of the things that I’ve learned. It holds true for when I’m writing too – when I actually sit down to write, which is almost never. It’s something I want to take up again. Without the motivation there to do it, it’s one of those “I just don’ts” that I want to overcome, because really, I love writing almost as much as I love reading. I like being able to see characters that I’ve created come alive and be immersed in their stories. Besides that, King Rupert and his rascally daughter Eleni have been poking at me lately to have their stories told, and it’s getting to the point where I’m going to seriously have to sit down and put them to paper, especially as I’ve had the outline for almost three years and Eleni’s name has changed about as many times now. *shuffle feet*

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
bludiscus
Jul. 12th, 2006 05:38 pm (UTC)
You may want to try building your routine in small steps. If you try too many things at once, it's easy to just say screw it and give up.

*hug* Good luck. I want to read about King Rupert and Eleni, so you'd better write it! ;)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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