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The Dream: My Nephew - Nicolas

The Dream

So, last night's dreaming events proved to be an eventful experience for me. Well, to some degree. And my definition of eventful may certainly well be different from anyone else's definition. However, the dream was so vivid to me and so real, and it keeps plaguing me, that I can't do anything put put it down on paper, or at least publish it in my journal.

To explain - the dream was about my nephew, August Nicolas Yunker. When he was a baby, we called him 'Boo' because he liked playing peek-a-boo with everyone. When he got too old for his nickname, which became a most assured embarrassing name during his teen-aged years, he was called either Nick or Nicolas. We never called him by his first name. My nephew died in a car crash almost 4 years ago, chasing after his girlfriend after they had a fight. He was 17 at the time. His anniversary is coming up on August 28th.

Why I had a dream pertaining to him, I'm not sure. I certainly wasn't thinking of him, in particular, or any other family member at that particular time - so he certainly wasn't something that was on my mind. Anyway...

The Dream.

I was at my sister's house. Sandy. She's the second oldest in the family. This was her house in Sandtown, DE - which she hasn't lived in for ages. Nicolas was just a kid, maybe 6 or 7, but clearly it was him. He was running and playing and doing all the normal things kids did. I don't know why I was there, especially, just that I was. Seeing Nicolas, though, I knew something was wrong. I knew he was dead, and that what was going on couldn't be real.

All I can really remember is going inside the house and repeating over and over again 'It hurts, it hurts.' My sister, who had friends over at the time, tried to get me to explain what it was that hurt, and I couldn't. I couldn't find the words to tell them that Nicolas was dead. He shouldn't be there. So I just kept repeating that 'It hurts'. Nicolas was even trying to find out what was wrong.


I'm particularly sure why I had the dream, and I don't think it matters. I think, in part, there's a part of me, maybe, that simply wants to see this shared. I tend to bottle things up and keep then hidden away from other people. That's my way of dealing with things. It's not entirely healthy, I know, but that's who I am.

The most vivid and fond memories I have of Nicolas follow:

1) When my father got our very first camcorder, Nicolas tried to steal the show. He was a clown that way. Whenever it would come to him, he's get in front, and play dead. Literally. He'd grasp his heart and fall down, making noises when he did, get right back up, and repeat the process over again.

2) When he was 8, we took him to Kings Dominion in Virginia. His mother told us not to take him on roller coasters because she was afraid he'd be too scared. But the little devil that he was, he insisted that he wanted to go on everything that we did. So, he braved the Rebel Yell - which has a 90 ft drop, and the Scooby Doo - not in that particular order. He may have even gone on the Grizzly. My most fond moment was winning him a matching set of bears - a bride and a groom - in the Scooby Doo / kids section of the park.

3) When he was 14, he helped my father dig in the back yard. My father was building a fish pond in order to put in gold fish and other sordid plants and such, as a sort of art scape for our background. He was pretty proud of the hole that he was dug. The only problem was, he had to borrow a pair of shorts to swim within in the pool later, and the only person who had any such clothes that would fit him would be me. So, he ended up stealing my pair of black shorts, because they had a cord that could be tied around the waist. I never got those shorts back after that day.

4) May of the year he died, my niece Tricia - his older sister - got married. He was decked out in Renaissance garb that his mother had made for him and the rest of the wedding party. That was the last time I got to see him before he died. Unfortunately, I really didn't get to say much to him at that time, because it was too COLD at the wedding. They had it outdoors where Sandy lived, and the May weather didn't cooperate. Lots of wind,lots of cold. That, and he was too busy with his girlfriend, Jessica.

There are many other fond moments that I shared with him - though those are the ones that come to my mind readily. He was a very energetic and vivacious boy, and I'm sure he would have been a wonderful man had circumstances been any different than they were.

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