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Loathing That Feeling...

I go through periods of my life where I’m feeling cramped and stifled and stuck.

This is one of those periods. It feels like things are going nowhere at all.

I’m pretty sure it’s just a severe case of: wake up, go to work, work, go home, eat, play, sleep, repeat, rinse.

Cabin fever.

I haven’t been to the movies or gone out in a long time. I don’t plan to do either for a longer time, as I have some financial goals I need to meet, and some things that absolutely have to get done that costs money. It can't be helped. They are things that are not optional, and are better for me in the long run.

So, it feels like life is forever more put “on hold”, complete with that bad, annoying elevator music.

Have I ever mentioned how much I abhor being put on hold?

Meh.

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Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
adamdray
Feb. 15th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
Hrm. Money is always a problem. But there are fun things that don't cost money.

I need to get a playtesting group together. Wanna be in it? It won't just be Verge, but Verge needs to be front and center till it's done. It might be that I haven't changed the Verge rules between game sessions so we play some other funky game, probably not even my own. Interested? Probably once a month, maybe twice.
nynrose
Feb. 16th, 2007 02:23 pm (UTC)
Part of it is I’m also feeling very anti-social lately. Some of the group things that used to excite me, like gaming, just don’t anymore. Point in fact…I’m feeling so anti-social that this year I think I’m cancelling my birthday. It just doesn’t exist. Right now there’s just nothing that interests me or really excites me or catches my attention or makes me go OMG, must do that! Steph suggested creating a bunch of mini goals, but that’s especially hard to do when you have no end goal toward anything in sight.
jessypi
Feb. 16th, 2007 02:39 am (UTC)
You can also find ways to volunteer, animal shelters, local schools, local churches. Or take classes, financial aid has a way of helping with current bills and really...in my opinion, it is a good kind of debt.
nynrose
Feb. 16th, 2007 02:15 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately, I'm not at all interested in doing any of these things. I'm done with classes and I'm even more done with incurring more debt. It was a huge relief to get rid of my student loans, and I think a large part of the problem is I'm rather resentful, even if it was a good thing, that I just got another 17,000 (19,000 really) debt in getting a new car /right/ after getting rid of the student loans. It would have been nice to actually be able to breathe for a bit before needing to get it, but it was a necessity given the 18 year old Jeep was just dying left and right. Plus? Not interested in taking classes of any kind again unless they are fun, and classes that are work intensive are not fun for me and the fun things happen while I'm grinding. It's a vicious cycle really. Meh.
bludiscus
Feb. 18th, 2007 04:25 pm (UTC)
You sound how I feel when I'm not taking my antidepressants. That's not to say you need them -- just to say you sound *really* down.

I'm surprised to hear you're resentful about the car debt... you were so excited to get it and to get a brand-new car.
nynrose
Feb. 21st, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
Don't get me wrong. I'm very excited to have the new car. I love my car. I am resentful about the additional debt that comes with the car though. For the period of maybe one month, it looked like things were looking up and I could get some of my additional, burdensom debt down, but the necessity of a new car killed that. So, financially, I'm stuck in the same rut I've been in since I left college. And, because of that, I've been neglecting my health more than a bit. There are healthful things I need to get done and I couldn't because something else would always arise, and I'd have to spend my savings on THAT instead. It's just... incredibly frustrating.

Now...

I /am/ at least able to put some money away. I give myself an allowance and I pay myself first (a good, sound, financial thing to do -- paying yourself first), so I end up putting away $375 a month and I allot myself $200.00 a paycheck for needful things every 2 weeks. Mostly, that goes to food and gas every two weeks, and maybe something fun.

But, this week I'm focusing on other things, trying not to be distracted by financial stuff, which always weighs on my mind. I'm working on super secret crafty projects, World of Warcraft, and plotting ways to be more organizational with wiki foo.... so for now, good distractions.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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