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Today's Events

My emotions were all over the place today. Again. I hate when that happens. The prevailing emotion for the day was self-doubt. That's the worst of all. Last night, Eric said that Darrick told him that he'd already planned to see someone, that's why he was so confident about breaking up with me. Well, good to know that Darrick had some sort of plan to go with. We wouldn't want him to have to go through life without any doubts about what he was doing. So, basically, he left me holding all the uncertainties and to fumble along. It's nice to know that the person I've been with for the last 11 years had so much care and consideration for me. Unfortunately, seeing just how little he cared for me in the end is starting to color how I feel about myself now. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but it does.

I was going to see kralentor today, but he had to work. The plan was to call him in the afternoon to see if he was up to going out later. In the meantime, I decided I wanted to get out of the house for the afternoon. I went to the movies and saw "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". A couple in the movie decide to have their memories erased from one another only to decide later that they really didn't want to have their memories erased. I think, if I could, I'd have my memory of Darrick erased, and no turning back like the couple in the movie did. I got home and called kralentor, but no answer. I left a message, but figured it was probably too late to do anything anyway. I'll see him tomorrow at our gaming session.

I was listless the rest of the afternoon. I wanted to do something, but really didn't have anything to do. I sat and watched TV for a bit. Got hungry and debated with myself for over an hour about what I wanted, and still didn't get anything to eat - except for a chunk of cheese. Eventually Darrick and Jennifer came home. We sat and watched "Old School" and "Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail". Honestly, I don't see what anyone else sees in Monty Python. I guess it had to be the company I was keeping when I was watching it.

With luck, tomorrow will be better. I'll be surrounded by friends and doing something that will be keeping me nicely distracted. Yay!

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
gwyndyn
Mar. 21st, 2004 07:59 am (UTC)
You're always welcome to come here and hang out when you need somethign to do. :)
nynrose
Mar. 21st, 2004 08:19 am (UTC)
Well, at least we're going to Port Discovery next weekend. Yay! It's always better for me to have things to look forward to during the week for the weekends anyway. I've never been good at the whole spontaneous socializing thing. Hell, I'm not even good at the whole socializing thing. I'm quiet. Too quiet. But mostly that's because I don't know what to say or don't know how to contribute to a conversation. I don't mind listening to people talk. Bah. Humbug.
bludiscus
Mar. 22nd, 2004 06:51 am (UTC)
Not you
Bah. Darrick's bad behavior reflects nothing upon you. He chose to be a jerk.

I understand your self-doubt (been there), but there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You're a lovely young woman. :)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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