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Rest In Peace... Goldie...

Today, my wonderful, lovable purrbaby Goldie, was put to sleep. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, and it was even harder to let the vetinary technicians take him back and do the job.

We've only got suspicions about why his systems started failing. He's been sick since about Christsmas. He as extremely thin then, like paper. It wasn't until later in the year my father started to get really worried about him, and finally took him to a vet -- since he lived with my father. There was talk of cancer then, but then the second opinion he got, with a different vet, ruled that out. He'd been vomiting all over the place, in more frequency than usual -- since he had chronic hairballs -- and so we were also worried that he might have developed food allergies.

Lots of medicines, lots of changes of food, lots of opinions later, they went back to the cancer theory. They had a mild suspicion that he had stomach cancer, and that his intestines in his digestive track started thickening, which made him unable to process the nutrients his body needed. This week, his body just had enough.

I went all the way to Easton, MD -- on the Eastern Shore of Maryland -- to spend some time with him this morning. I was there for 45 minutes, petting him and trying to make him be aware that he was a very, very loved kitty.

The entire time I was there, from the moment he saw me until the moment he left the room, he purred. I just sat there, listening to him, trying very hard to memorize the sound of his purr, so I would never forget it -- because it would be the last time I'd ever hear it. He laid there, content, with my petting him. When it was clear that we were both ready, I had the vet tech take him back, and I left.

While I loved him very much, I've had him since he was a tiny spec in the palm of my hand, I could not go back with them while they euthanized him. I didn't want to remember him as some cold slab on the table. I wanted to remember him as my purrbaby.

He's going to be cremated, and I've already picked the box he'll be kept in. It'll be a sealed box, as I don't want any chance of his ashes being spilled to occur. It's a nice wooden box that'll have his name on it.

I'll post pictures later, when I'm ready to find them again.

And, so, if I'm quiet, or not around as much, or... just not in any mood to talk, you know why. I've had my sweet baby for 13 years, and he'll be missed very, very much.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
bludiscus
Nov. 3rd, 2007 08:43 pm (UTC)
*HUGS* I'm hurting for you. I... know how hard it is. I'm so sorry. It's unfair that our furry companions don't live as long as we do.
godessdiana
Nov. 3rd, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
Lots of hugs to you.
reasdream
Nov. 3rd, 2007 10:30 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
jessypi
Nov. 4th, 2007 01:39 am (UTC)
*hugs tight*
haranalee
Nov. 4th, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)
:(
I'm so sorry for your loss. :(:(:( It's terrible to lose so wonderful a kitten :(
(Deleted comment)
aerlorn
Nov. 4th, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC)
*hugs and symptahy*
snarlingbadger
Nov. 5th, 2007 04:54 am (UTC)
*more hugs*

I'm sure Goldie knew how much you loved him, and was glad to have you there. He had a good long life, and will always have a special place in your heart.

I'm glad that you came out to Misty & Chris's - not only because it's always good to see you, but also because, in my experience, it's good to not isolate yourself when you're mourning.
stephdray
Nov. 5th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC)
I know how much this hurts, and that no words will really help. But I'm glad you were with him in the end and that he knew he was loved. That's all any of us can ask.
surubee
Nov. 6th, 2007 01:42 am (UTC)
*hugs tight*
Condolences to you on your loss and may your memories of him always give you comfort.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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