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2008 In Review

2008 started with a lot of promise. My outlook for the year had been positive, and I knew positive things were going to happen. What my outlook was and what the reality was were two different things, however. Though, admittedly, some positive things did happen for me.

In February, I was fortunate to discover the most wonderful, loving, caring, romantic, thoughtful man that I have ever had the pleasure to encounter. Of course, I'm talking about paultucker. Our relationship could potentially be described as whirlwind, as we both managed to sweep each other off of our feet, figuratively speaking - of course - since we were parted by the great divide of the ocean, given he lives in England. He made me laugh, he made me smile, he made me love again when I didn't think I had it in me to love anymore. More importantly, he showed me how to trust again, which is a very, very difficult thing to do. And, while, right now, although we've agreed to see other people for the time being, which is more to do with the fact that his job has taken him out of any communicable area, I consider him to have been the best part of what made up my year. He has been wonderfully carrying and supportive through most of my stressful times, and without him I do not think I could have weathered them as well as I have. I love him very much, and I miss him terribly. My only regret is that I do not think I was as there for him as I could have been when he was also going through times of stress.

That said, Paul has pretty much been the only good thing about 2008. In 2008, my world turned around for other reasons.

In March, I was faced with a mysterious illness that still has not been properly diagnosed. It went away on its own, only to return again in October. And while I went for treatment the first time, I did not the second because hte doctors were not at all helpful and it ended up going away on its own the first time without any aid or guidance from them.

In April, I lost my job. I was out of work for nearly six weeks, and during those six weeks I sent in over 100 job applications, had 5 interviews, and no call backs to be hired. The second best thing that happened to me this year was that my friend, Sam, from Firan happened to work at the direct Manpower office, and he pulled a few strings, talked me up, and got me an interview with an office close to my home in Maryland. The day after the interview I was placed, and I've been at the same place ever since, and will soon be hired full time. This job has been one of the best jobs ever, with some of the most caring people ever, and I cannot begin to thank him enough for helping me out.

In May, Nancy and Scott, the housemates, lost their father-in-law/father (Scott's Dad). He lived in our house, and died in our bathroom. I would say it was a peaceful passing. All evidence points that he didn't slip and fall, it was simply his time and he gave out. However, having him die in the house had a negative effect on us all. There was always the feeling that he was hovering and lingering over us, even though clearly he was not with us any longer, and the memories of his life there haunted us all - even those of us who did not know him very well while he was living there.

In June, despite the fact that I lost my job, I determined to take a vacation to Disney World, which was largely already paid for, with my sister and her husband - largely to erase the memories of the last vacation I took there in 2003. I found that I greatly enjoyed showing them around, since neither had been to the Disney World complex in sometime, and showing them the various sights of the area. We laughed, we played, we had fun, we tired ourselves out, we ate good food, and we generally had a good time. I'm glad for the opportunity to have spent an entire week with my sister, sharing with her the Wonderful World of Walt Disney, even if my pursestrings could have done without spending so much money later.

Throughout the entire year, my housemates, the owners of the house that we were living in, were facing financial hardship; and I was faced with the potential possibility of losing my home. For a number of months, I wasn't certain - despite assurances they would, at first, keep their home - of where I would be living. That uncertainty grew more and more throughout the year, until October I was told that they had definitely lost the house and that we would need to find a new place to live. During this time I discovered the depth of just how wonderful and caring stephdray and adamdray were, though I already knew to some extent, as they offered me not only the use of their home as a means of escape, but also a place to live for a time if I ever needed it - neither of which I actually took them up on, but I was very grateful for their offer and the bits of peace of mind they gave to me in knowing I had some place to go, if all else failed.

I'd have to say that losing the house was a mixed bag. It was sad that we lost the house, but at the same time I think it was a good thing. We are now in a bigger, and better home, and the passing of Scott's father is no longer hovering over our head and haunting us. The cost of the rent leaves much to be desired, and I often worry about whether or not they are going to be able to make it from month to month. Despite that worry, I am determined not to let that rule my life this year, and to simply enjoy the opportunity that I have to have a place that's bigger, nicer, and with enough space where I can spread out and have some "personal" space for a change to do the things I loved, but had long since given up on.

The year ended on a positive note, more or less, surrounded by family and friends, who shared their love and support throughout the year. Really, despite of all the hardships of the year, no one could have asked for anything more really. I am well, and truly blessed.

As for 2009, I am glad it is here, but I have no goals, no pre-set thoughts, nothing with regards to how things will go. After the last two years, I am indifferent. I don't see the sense in setting any goals and setting myself up for failure. I don't do well with deadlines, I never meet them. However, I will take time, somewhere, to find some things to do that I love and enjoy, and maybe go on a mini-vacation. I'll save my real planning for 2010, where I am determined to take another Caribbean cruise.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
stephdray
Jan. 7th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC)
I was honored to spend the New Year with you ;)
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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