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Sunday's Adventure

This really started early, early Sunday evening. See. Sunday was the day that I got to meet Jennifer. I didn't get home until 12:30 am, really early Sunday morning. Home as in the Glen Burnie house. I was out at a friend's house gaming that night and then toddled off home to go to bed. I knew Jennifer would be there, just not what fashion she'd be there. See, I tend to be rather niave about things, generally speaking. But, I wasn't shocked or surprised to see that she was neither in the guest room or the sofa bedroom when I got home. The only conclusion? She was with Darrick. I was right.

Sunday morning, I woke up first - at least I think I did. It's hard to tell, there were lots of doors opening and closing, occassionally, through out the night. Anyway, I was first up and moving around. I'd gotten up, gotten dressed and was getting ready to go to another planned gaming session for Sunday. Saturday's was more a fluke invite than anything else and I'd gone. Darrick and Jennifer were giggling and carrying on in his room for about an hour until around 11:00 am they finally decide to get up and come out and greet the new day - or me, rather.

They both come out in their jammies, and it's the first time I see Jennifer. She doesn't look all that much different from me. It's interesting Darrick chose a girl that looked close to me, though not entirely the same. She's about my height, has dark hair and eyes, but is a little heavier set than I am. She seemed nice enough. The thing is, the manner which they came out and presented themselves was less than desireable.

Darrick and Jennifer came out, greeted the dog and were all over one another more or less. Kissing, hugging, being really close. Then, they proceeded to the bathroom and promptly went into the shower together. I sat at the kitchen table and just ate my orange, my breakfast for the day. Eventually they came out and got dressed, but by that time it was time for me to go. I was too upset to really talk or say anything to them, so I wished Darrick a good week, told him I took my check for the mortgage back and went off on my way. I was too upset to really say anything to him, confronted with their behavior like that.

I spent the entire day at Steph and Adam's house. The game ended early and on the way home I decided to stop back at the house and confront Darrick. I know he had to work at Home Depot that day and really I wanted to talk to him without Jennifer there. So, I stopped by the house, let the dog out, and sat in the kitchen laying in wait for him to get home, which he did finally around 8:35 pm.

He came in, was surprised to see me obviously, and we chit chatted for a bit. Normal stuff, how was your day, work, etc. He said work was interesting. He'd gotten a phone call from Jennifer and that she was coming over. The main water line had busted and had flooded her apartment. I wasn't too pleased with knowing she was staying yet another night in the house, but I chose not to say anything about that just yet. That's another battle for another time. Instead, I chose to focus on my feelings about that morning and a few other things.

He said I was about as quiet about the news of Jennifer as he expected. So, that was the moment I pounced. I told him I wanted to give him a piece of my mind about that morning and he told me to go ahead. I did, and reminded him that he told me he wanted to remain friend and that he was making it very difficult to want to remain friends with the way he was acting. You don't do the things that he did that morning to me to friends, it was very inconsiderate. I told him it felt like he was parading around his new girlfriend in front of me, showing her off and making some sort of point of like 'See, here she is. She does things you never wanted to do!'. He said it wasn't like that and that he didn't want us to meet like that. But the point was we did. We talked that over for a little bit.

I told him that I felt used. He said he didn't use me. That he never meant for me to feel that way. I asked him how he would feel if the situation was reversed. Not three days before we took possession of our house, he turns around and tells me that he doesn't love me anymore. It's rather suspicious and makes one think many things that may just not be true. We talked that over for a bit, as well as some of the potential problems there were with the security deposit he returned to the former owners. I also told him that I never wanted my father to contact Donna, the realtor, but we both know that he strives for causes, and that I'm his latest cause. I didn't appreciate my father's intereference, but at the same time what's done is done. I stressed that to him.

I told him it was probably none of my business, but for my own piece of mind I needed to know a few things. So, I asked him how long he'd been seeing Jennifer, and if Saturday night was the only night he'd slept with her. He admitted to me that he'd been seeing her for a month and that they slept together one other time, at least two weeks ago. I then expressed my concern to him that I thought things were moving too fast between them. Not that it was my business, but I was concerned for him. He admitted to me that he also saw things moving much faster than he expected, and he's not sure what's going to happen and that he's also concerned.

I should be angry with him, furious even, but I'm not. I'm, oddly enough, more concerned that maybe he's going to get himself hurt. I think he's on a path of destruction, and I told him as much. I didn't tell him these things because I'm jealous. Obviously, I am. I told him these things because what he's doing is so unlike the Darrick I've known that it scares me a bit, and I really, really don't want to see him getting hurt. I also told him because it's better to get my feelings out in the open and to talk with him than it is to build things up and keep it bottled away until something explodes. That's something neither one of us needs to happen.

We both spoke about some of the progress we saw in one another. He noticed how I was able to open up more and just converse about little things - and even express my feelings. This is true. I've been working on these things. It helps to have a strong base of friends to talk to people. And, I'm very appreciative of all the help and shoulders I've had to lean on this last month or so. I noted to him that he's trying to open up more to me and talk to me. Really talk to me, not futzing around with jokes and stuff, but being serious and having a real heart to heart. I didn't think he'd try. He didn't sound like he would when we discussed things before because he told me he didn't know if he could and when he said that he didn't sound like he wanted to try, but he is. I let him know how much I appreciate his efforts.

I wondered if he'd talked to anybody. I mean /really/ talked to anybody, since all of this has happened, and if he told his parents. He said he told his parents about Jennifer, that he was seeing her, but that's about all he said to them. He's talked to others, but snippets here and there, no in depth conversations. He said he talked to Jennifer, and that's not what I meant when I asked him that question. I told him as much. He understood that.

He claimed he didn't have as many friends as I did. That struck me as funny. He and his friends made me an 'honorary' member of their "group" back in college. Only, he's lost track of all those people. Steve, Kurt and some other guy who's name I couldn't remember, but I know he hung out with him! So, I suggested that maybe he needs to pick up the phone and call them and talk to them, just to talk, and maybe he needed to talk to our mutual friend, Eric. It might help him deal with some of the issues we've been dealing with. Or not. But, at the very least, I felt he needed to stop avoiding the topic of "us" even if there is no "us" anymore, and just talk to get things off his chest and so he doesn't bottle things up anymore.

All in all, we chatted for about an hour and a half. Despite the fact that Jennifer came in on the tail end of the conversation, and I think there's more I wanted to talk to him about without her there, I left Glen Burnie in good spirits and with the unexplainable knowledge that maybe things will be alright. Maybe. We'll see. Things are over between us, for now. That doesn't mean he can't recognize further change later and decide to change his mind.

In the meantime, I still need to get my own self settled and maybe start dating. The problem is I don't know of anyone TO date. Bah. That, and I'm very, very awkward when it comes to that sort of thing. Even less of a conversationalist, etc. But, we'll see what comes along, and eventually, I can stop bothering all of my LJ friends with all of my problems!

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
electricsoup
Jan. 12th, 2004 06:10 pm (UTC)
I don't think you're bothering anyone! It sounds like... well, I don't really know how you could handle this any better!
darthbek
Jan. 12th, 2004 06:35 pm (UTC)
Hon, you are an amazing woman. Your grace and maturity in this situation is awe-inspiring. I hope your strength continues to hold and you get through this as I think you will -- an even more amazing woman.

(The She-Ra picture is just for you!)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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