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Memories of Scotland

This is an actual entry in one of my diaries. It's actually a rather moving entry for me. It shares my thoughts and feelings about Scotland but also the discovery of my mother having cancer. Eh. I figured it was time to share some of those moments with people, now that they are no longer as painful as they used to be. And it figures what the last sentence of this entry is.

9:10 pm Scotland Time
June 13, 1995

Dear Diary,

Well, I guess from my heading you can tell I am in Scotland now. *smile*

Sorry had to switch pen did not feel right. So far the trip is going well. The plan rides were great, almost like a giant roller coaster ride, going up and down that is. Right now I am in the Brunsfield hotel in Edinburg. The room is ok. I have it all to myself. I am on the 2nd floor while mom & dad are downstairs on the first.

The plane ride was great. Seemed like very 15 mins or so the cabin crew wanted to feed you or make sure you weren't thirsty. Mom & dad got the window aisle & I got center for the first flight.. There were movies & wierd TV programs as well as a comedy channel & music for entertainment. I sat next to a cheerful fellow who was going to a meeting in London. We talked about theatre & music and his travels. Seems he's been to most of Europe.

The bus trip from Gatwick to Heathrow was ok. The speadlink bus was extravagant. Every four chairs surrounded a table w/an attached lamp. The ride was interesting to say the least. People here drive worse than those in Baltimore. And tis strange seeing people actually driving on the opposite sides of the stree as we do. I think we almost hit a car at least five times. Like I said worse than Baltimore.

The flight only took 6 1/2 hours. Not too bad. We left at 6:30 pm (US time) and arrived at Gatwick at 6:00 am (European/Scotland Time). The speedlink bus shuttled us to Heathrow airport where we took a super shuttle (smaller plane) to Edinburg Air. Then we called a cab to get to the hotel we are at now. Dad and I took a short walk throug the city. We went again with mom to look for a place to eat and ended up eatting at the hotel anyway.

The landing at Edinburg was beautiful. Not many clouds so you got to see most of the terrain, towns, houses & farms. Even saw movin' cars not that dad believed me until he saw for himself.

The buildings here are absolutely beautiful. Saw castles & turrets as we landed and assed a threatre when taxiing to the hotel.

We are all exhausted. By all rights I should be asleep right now. I could go to bed at any time but I am prolonging it. Really aside from an hour here and there on the plane and the bus I've been awake since noon (USA Time - June 12th). I will be going to bed soon.

Anyway enough about Scotland. Time to finish talking about otherstuff to get updated. Before I have way too much to talk about again *has a feeling this entry is going to be several pages long * *sigh*

Now for a bit of talk of more pressing matters. Mom. Nough said. I found out last Sunday that she may be dying of cancer. She and dad found out that Friday before. She has cancer of the kidney - tis very rare and only about 5% of the people who have this type of cancer live to the 5 yr mark. They only found out she had cancer cuz of the bastards who were spraying the fields with hazardous chemicals.

I was very upset and in a huge amount of shock when I found out. I think I have calmed down a great deal since then. We have no clue how long mom has. I have trouble keeping my mind from straying to the future. A future of what ifs and I wonder what it would be like without mom. It's hard but I try to stop myself cuz I know I will only succeed in upsetting and scaring myself even further like Sherry seems to be doing to herself. Another long story will try to get into next time. Anyway tis confirmed. Mom is on alternative (herbal) medications to get her strength up till after the trop then she will add conventional medicines as well. She may be going to a doctor at Salisbury Hospital now.

I wonder how Darrick will react. I will have even less time for him now. *sigh*

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
adamdray
Mar. 2nd, 2005 05:32 pm (UTC)
*Hug* That had to be a very tough time.
nynrose
Mar. 3rd, 2005 02:13 pm (UTC)
It was very tough. There were several times I broke down that year at school. Worse was during the middle of play rehearsal when I was directing. Dealing with the stress of directing, my actors not listening, and life at home was not fun.

It didn't help that I pushed everyone that I cared about at school away. The only person that offered any real support at that time was Darrick, surprisingly enough. Pushing people away is my first instinct when I'm hurting. That hasn't changed.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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