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It seems like these last few weeks or so my emotions have taken me hostage and run wildly ramprant. There are days when I wake up and all is great with the world, and then it seems like life is pretty bleak, or vice versa. Part of that is because I don't have enough to do during the day to keep me occupied at work, so my mind wanders over things that are best left alone. The best I can do is push certain thoughts to the back of my mind with the hope that I'll forget about whatever it is that'd been upsetting me. It's getting harder and harder to do though.

While LiveJournal is a nice outlet for things, there's only so much I'm willing to put in writing there. There are some some things that I just don't feel comfortable sharing with a larger group of people, or don't want to share for other various reasons. I really need someone to talk to about stuff. Just stuff in general. Someone I can confide in, without feeling silly or thinking I'm burdening them with my problems. Unfortunately, I'm not the type of person that will just call someone up and just start unloading things I've been thinking about or feeling. A large part of that is because I've never had anyone to talk to like that before. A smaller part is that I'd like to stubbornly think that I don't really need that sort of outlet. That I'm fine without it. But the reality is I'm not.

I think if I had someone I could count on in that sort of venue that it would likely go a long way to helping me stablize my emotional baggage of late. At the very least, having someone to talk things over with will at least put a few things into perspective for me. Or, maybe I'm just crazy and this illness of mine is simply making me more vulnerable than I normally am.

Whatever the case.... I want off this emotional roller coster. K. Tnx.Bye.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
isik
Mar. 20th, 2005 03:45 am (UTC)
Sorry to butt in, ma'am, but... everyone DOES need someone like that. The wealthier call them psychiatrists or psychologists. -smile- All I can suggest is finding someone you can meet eye to eye and say SOMEthing to. I can well imagine that first step to be the most difficult. In the strictest sense, we always feel silly or weak or like we are burdening someone when we reach the point that we should be talkiing about it. I can only hope that you will find someone you are at ease enough with to discount those feelings and trust them to know to say when.

Oh... and look for the ones that are stable themselves. -wink- Reciprocation and all that.

-r
ashamanmat
Mar. 20th, 2005 10:50 am (UTC)
*HUG*
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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