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How Things Are...

I've turned the comments of this post off, because I'm really not looking for people to tell me I need to go talk to someone. LJ is how I express myself and get my feelings out. If you don't care or don't want to read what I have to say, well, just skip to the next post. And no, I'm not going to use a "cut" to spare other readers. That being said....

How Things Are....

... not so good right now. It's this week. I know it is. I've been exceptionally emotional and not entirely rational this week. It's affecting everything around me. My game play, how I interact with other people, what I say, what I do... It's not just /this/ week though. It's been growing, building up, since long before the month of July came. I feel myself pulling away from everyone and everything, and I can't help it. None of my usual distractions are working, and in many cases I'm feeling very frustrated and very stagnated at the places I usually go to distract myself and have fun. I've debated quitting and just giving up on a few of those places, but know better than to do that. Just, right now, I'm in a not good place, and I'm more stressed over that mere fact than anyone can believe.

This week, especially, is the hardest week for me to go through. Friday is soon approaching. I don't want to, but I absoluetly have to go home, to at least get the court papers if for no other reason. I'm thinking of asking my father if we can't just have dinner on Kent Island on Thursday so I can come back to Nancy's house and crash Thursday night before finding something, anything, to do to distract me all day Friday.

I thought about going home on Thursday night and staying there, but my father apparently doesn't believe in AC, and it's been super hot this past week and the thought of being in a hot, stuffy house, attempting to sleep with nothing bit a fan moving around hot air... it's not appealing. I did that a few weeks ago when visiting in June.

Besides that, I really don't want to linger on the Eastern Shore of MD on Friday. I want to find a nice hole where I can curl up and forget about everything. A nice, deep, dark hole. I'll settle for the movies. There's some opening this weekend, I'm sure, and some that I still haven't seen that will still be around, I'm doubly sure. Heck, maybe I can even find the Lake House.

Nancy said that she will make sure no one disturbs me on Friday. This is good. I'm not going to be fit for much real public consumption anyway. Well, at least not where I have to actually be social and decide whether or not I need to put on an act for other people. I have every right to feel as I do on that day.

I will survive. I will get through it. I'll move on. I'll be glad when August is here.



Nynrose - Lisa Christie
Cuendillar MUSH

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