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Where I Am...

Lately, largely due to Real Life reasons, the RP world has lost its grip on me. I find myself wanting to log in and create story less and less because often, more times than not, creating story revolves around some OOC drama or another. In reality, I’m faced with certain hardship, with the possibility of losing my home looming over my head. I lost my job in April, and only though the help of a good friend did I find another one, though temporary, in less than a month’s time. By the grace of the Gods, I still have that job, even though the contract was only for a month. The people here are nice, and they want me to stay, I think. But, that doesn’t mitigate the other things going on.

My housemates are facing bankruptcy, though the trial for this has been put off twice. On top of that there has been a death in their family, someone who lived with us, that keeps haunting the house – figuratively, if not literally. It hangs over our heads collectively with the memories that we’ve created while the person who died lived with us. With the bankruptcy will come the foreclosure of their house, and eventually our need to move. One of the housemates hasn’t worked for several years, and is balking at the thought of getting a job, despite the fact that it’ll help with the situation and keeping their house. He’s in denial that “bad things” will happen. Meanwhile, the other housemate does what she can to scramble and get money together in order to keep the household running and functioning, including running her husband’s business. That business has been taking a steady nosedive, with a long run of bad luck involved with it.

The tension in the house is only getting worse, and I’ve been steadily trying to talk one housemate off one ledge or another. Everything has long since started to wear on my own nerves. Most would say the solution is to simply move. Financial means make that difficult to do, at best. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to; at least not without a significant financial raise at the moment. So, I try to make the best out of a bad situation that only seems to be getting worse. The end result is, at the end of the day, I have less patience and tolerance for people all around, particularly those that are overly sensitive to their IC situations, or other issues involved with running a game. So, I’ve been stepping back, and finding other means of distraction, in order to avoid a potential melt down. I’ve been turning to WoW, where I can mindlessly complete little quests and tasks, and take out aggression without fear of getting anyone mad or upset.

In truth, I’m tired. I’m weary. I seriously want this series of bad events to stop. I want life to go back to normal, whatever that is. My one shining grace in everything is paultucker. If not for him, I think I would have gone over the deep end a long time ago. He brings a light and happiness to my life that I cannot even begin to explain. He is my rock, my anchor, and I find myself continually grateful to have him as a part of my life.

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( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
nynrose
Aug. 21st, 2008 12:03 pm (UTC)
Aww. Will miss you too, muchly. Love you, and have fun at the event!

Edited at 2008-08-21 12:03 pm (UTC)
michaelmauzey
Aug. 21st, 2008 03:46 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I am sorry, babe. I hope it gets better soon!
nynrose
Aug. 21st, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs back* Thank you.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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Nynrose - Lisa Christie
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