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Sanity Check Needed...

Job Interview

I had a job interview on Friday at 1:30 pm EST, at Fitchner Services Central, Inc. It's a roofing company. The people there are really nice and laid back. Casual environment, etc, etc. It seems like a good company. It's a family business. I was referred there by the temp agency. The interview went well, more or less. The drawback is if I get the job, then no online from work. No biggie. A small draw back. I can live with that. Overall, not a bad job to have really. I'll know next week whether or not I get it. I'm pretty excited about it because it means that if I get it, I can finally completely move into my house. This is a good and a bad thing, I guess.

Squeezed Out

The bad thing is that lately I'm getting the feeling that Darrick and Jennifer are trying to squeeze me out of the house. An example: I get to the house on Friday and I notice that my dresser which was in the guest bedroom was moved into my room and my dishes that were in the cabinets were either put back into my boxes or shoved into another cabinet with my stuff, etc. I put my dresser back into the guest room, but left the dishes. I'd intended to do some unpacking on Saturday, but those plans changed.

Saturday, Eric and Debbie - mutual friends of mine and Darrick - came over. I knew they were coming only because I overheard a phone conversation in the house. Voices carry here. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. They came over to help Darrick and Jennifer move her stuff; two couches, 1 kitchen table, lots of kitchen chairs, an entertainment center cabinet, a full sized bed and a coffee table, among many other odds and ends that came with them.

They moved all the stuff downstairs, except for the bed and a few other odds and ends. This means that my living room is very, very messy. The house is cramped, the kitchen now has two tables in it - Jennifer's currently not put together - and it's just... well... a wreck. Debbie was sitting there quiet as a mouse, God bless her, not saying a thing. She wanted to. I could tell she wanted to, but she didn't. And, I don't blame Eric and Debbie for helping Darrick. I told them to make their own decisions and that I would not make them choose their friendship between Darrick and I. And, I won't. But, I /can/ and /will/ be totally and completely pissed off at Darrick. I have every right to be.

I'm also pissed at myself. I have a voice and I need to use it. Unfortunately, my keen sense of avoiding confrontations is what's holding me back, along with my inability to speak the words I need to speak in order to get my points across. I usually lose the ability to converse when I'm upset and angry. I'm bottling things up, which I know is unhealthy. I need to just step forward and say what I have to say and get it over with. I should have done this a long time ago, but I haven't. A coward, I am.

Kudos to Debbie

She kept me company today while Eric went to PA to get Jen's stuff. She could have gone with him, but didn't. She's very much like me in many respects. We're quiet, shy and very niaeve. And, if it can be believed, she was raised even more sheltered in life than I was. That's a long story there, and hers to tell if she ever wants to tell it. She's very nice and we get along VERY well. She's been dating/living with Eric since October, and I think she's good for him - but again another story.

We went to see Stepford Wives - this being my second time. We walked around the mall and shopped and talked and carried on and did girl stuff. I told her all about adamdray, stephdray, bluekitsune, ironman, gwyndyn and kralentor. She heard lots and lots about the up and coming FiranCON and I even showed her a few websites with pictures of the people I've been constantly talking about to she and Eric over the past few years.

I especially told her stories about Paul. I did that with the hope that she would relay then to Eric. Eric, over the last few years I've known him, has dubbed himself my big brother. He's very protective about the people he cares about. I think that's mostly because Eric doesn't like very many people. He keeps bugging me to have Paul come to Easton so they can meet, but that's such a long trek! Plus, Eric and Paul are very much alike in some respects and very different in many others. They'll either get along or hate each other.

Overall, we had a very good time, and we kept each other entertained, even though the good feelings of the day were overshadowed by Jennifer's things being moved into my house. Because she's going through a difficult spell in her own life, I think getting out of the house and interacting with other 'girl' figures was just as important for her as it is for me.

Dreamy Goodness

The one good thing that remained with me today was a dream that I soooooo did not want to wake up from this morning. I don't remember most of the dream, but I can say that it involved Paul somehow. It was a warm, happy, cuddly, happy, safe, happy sort of dream. Yes, I know I said happy quite a few times. I woke up smiling and happy. Even thinking of it now brings a smile to my face.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 19th, 2004 09:36 pm (UTC)
*hugs tight*
Jun. 20th, 2004 01:24 am (UTC)
*hugs tight & glares at D over your shoulder*
Jun. 20th, 2004 03:34 am (UTC)
The fact that you recognize and acknowledge your problems is already a step forward. The next step is marked "Why?".

Fingers crossed on the job.. sounds like a good start!
Jun. 20th, 2004 04:32 pm (UTC)
Yay about the interview - my fingers are totally crossed :)

I can not *believe* that they moved your stuff. You *own* half of that home. Own it. Neither of them has a right to touch your stuff. That just makes me so mad.

*hugs lots*
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Nynrose - Lisa Christie
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