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Bah Humbug

The Holidays are a hectic time for me. It's not so much that I'm doing a lot of stuff around the Holidays, because I usually don't do anything more than normal, it's just that it's a stressful time of the year for me. In all honesty, I think part of this is because I hold on too much to what things used to be like around the Holidays with my family.

I have a large family. I have four older sisters. They're all married. They have kids. Every year they would all come over to the house for Thanksgiving and Christmas to spend time with us and celebrate together, along with the myriad of other holidays during the spring and summer months. These were times I immensely looked forward to as I got to catch up not only with my sisters, but my nieces and nephews, who were more like brothers and sisters to me than my older sisters. My nieces and nephews are far closer to me in age than my sisters.

Holidays were large affairs for us, numbering between 18-24 people, depending on whether or not Œhusbands' came along as well. We had the Œadult' table and the typical Œkids' table. My mother used to prepare a large feast for everyone and we'd simply enjoy our time together catching up on old times and new things that were happening.

This doesn't happen anymore. It hasn't happened for a long time, in fact. It's a thing that bothers me immensely, but there's nothing that can be done for it because we've all grown so far apart over the years since my mother's death. My nieces and nephews are grown and have families of their own now. Getting together is a hard task to accomplish. Planning for Christmas is an even harder task. It's one that rather frankly stresses me out to no end. I get burned out on wanting to do anything at all during the months of November and December.

I'm the kind of person who wants to make certain that everyone who comes to the house gets at least one thing for Christmas. It's not needed, I know, but it's the thing /I/ like to do, especially when they see everyone else getting gifts and they're left out. It doesn't feel right, so it's the thing I do.

If anyone sees me Bah Humbugging anything, don't take it personally. I've come to hate the Holidays over the years since they no longer seem to mean anything in our family anymore. They're just another day. I still try to do nice stuff for Christmas, but I've started to come to wonder why I even bother sometimes. For me, there is no such thing as Christmas cheer.


Nynrose - Lisa Christie
Cuendillar MUSH

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