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Dreams and Discoveries...

Ever since I can remember I've always dreamed about being an actress. It's the thing I most wanted in my life. I geared my whole education toward it and refused to listen to anything anyone had to say about the dismal potential there is for people who wish to follow this chosen career. I had a plan firmly planted in my mind. I was going to go out after college and go to as my auditions as I could and keep on auditioning until someone, somewhere, got tired of seeing me show up at audition after audition.

That plan never happened. I never followed my dream. That dream still exists, however. There's nothing like being on a stage in front of people and having them watch you portray someone else for their pure enjoyment, and the applause and appreciation you receive from people after it's all over and done. Ultimately, it's still what I want to do. I love being on stage and being on stage is really where I belong.

Had it not been for the fact that my mother got cancer, I would have spent part of my senior year of college interning at another theatre. That would have been an experience unlike any other I've ever had. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. Instead, I finished college in sleepy little Chestertown, MD, and then a few years after my mother's passing, I found and fell in love with the local theatre in Churchill. Or rather, one of the players found a way for me to volunteer and I'd been volunteering there ever since until three years ago. I needed to step away and take a break after doing performance after performance year after year.

My credits at CHT (Churchill Theatre) and WC (Washington College) include:

Stage Managing:
Lend Me A Tenor || CHT 2002
South Pacific || CHT 2002
Bell, Book & Candle || CHT 2002
Love Letters || CHT 2001
American Dreams || CHT 2001
Barefoot in the Park || CHT 2000
Picnic || CHT 1998
Hamlet || WC 1995
Rossum's Universal Robots || WC 1995
The Good Doctor || WC 1994
A Midsummer Night’s Dream || WC 1992

Rehearsal For Murder || WC 1996
A Scene from The Great Gatsby || WC 1995
Directing II Class || WC 1994
Twinkle, Twinkle || WC 1994
Directing I Class || WC 1994

Love Letters || Melissa || CHT 2001
The Psychic || Lisa || CHT 2001
Arsenic and Old Lace || Elaine || CHT 2000
Picnic || Milli || CHT 1998
Equus || Nurse || WC 1995
Hamlet || Player || WC 1995
A Girl in Havana || Duet/Chorus || WC 1995
Blood Wedding || Little Girl, Woodcutter || WC 1994
Damn Yankees || Lois || WC 1993
Cinders || Ugly Sister Number Two || WC 1993

Sound and Lighting Technician:
Little Shop of Horrors || CHT 1998
Leave It to Jane || WC 1994

At Washington College I was part of a Theatre Management class which was instrumental in developing The Riverside Players, a drama group that still exists and actively participates in producing plays and such today. It's odd, to think that something that was started by 6 people in one tiny class still has an affect on the community. Our mission was to bring the college and the town closer together, since the presence of the college had formed a rift between the community and the students.

I'm itching a great deal to get back into theatre. It's the thing I love, as I said before. So, now I've decided that I'm going to at least look at local community theatres to see what's available and perhaps look into the Chesapeake Music Hall in Annapolis, where I have a contact from one of the actresses from Bell, Book & Candle. It's also equity, and not just community theatre, so there's more of a chance to get paid if I work on stuff. Which is a plus. But on top of that, I'm going to also submit my resume. No longer am I going to wait for my former director to give me pointers as she promised. It was a crutch and an excuse for me not to submit my resume.

Whether or not I go on to be an actress is another thing. I'm happy helping out where I can, mostly. Though, mostly, I also have very little confidence in my own acting abilities. I'm not as experienced as some people in the ways of the world and often times I find that barrier a hard thing to overcome. That's changing, as I experience new things and meet different people, but that's a process that I think will take far longer for me to overcome than anything else.

But on top of that, I want other things too. I've been thinking about things a great deal and coming to some rather startling realizations about myself. Well, startling for me, anyway. I want to find someone that I can settle down and spend the rest of my life with. I want a family and to have children. I want a house with a white picket fence and the whole shebang.

This isn't something I ever wanted before. Or, at least, I kept telling myself I didn't want it. I couldn't ever imagine myself as a mother or settling down with anyone. But, the not having kids was the biggest thing. I didn't ever want to be in a situation where something would happen to me and they'd be without a mother. But that's changed. Though I think my chances of finding someone to settle down with are pretty slim, so I'll take whatever life has to dish my way, with or without those things.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Mar. 18th, 2005 12:47 am (UTC)
Do it. It's worth it, and you have some credentials...

My best friend from middle and high school (who I just tracked down again) worked professionally as an actress for 5 years; she supported herself during part of this teaching ESL. And now? She's decided to stay in the heatre but from a different direction: she's in graduate school and planning to be a professor.

But you might surprise yourself. Don't discount the dreams. Really, I've always found life surprises you pleasantly when you least expect it and stop looking for things at time. The surest way is to be happy with yourself.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )


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